Her transition was her turning point; a rebirth in the best possible of ways.
Meet Atlanta based, openly trans femme DJ, producer, mother & community leader, Zaida.
In her start as a vibrant host & performer at various drag parties around the city, Zaida was always in search of euphoria, a task she channels when writing and making music. “I'm always looking for that feeling of happiness and energy.”
It comes as no surprise that her mixes offer an upbeat, energetic, fun, and eclectic escape from everyday life. The rising 30-year-old Afro-Pinay artist has been building a name for herself in the EDM & nightlife scene. She has collaborated with artists like Leonce, DJ Helix, and TWINS, and has been featured in platforms like Discwoman, The Ransom Note, MixMag and more.
When I asked our #artist2lookout4 how she would describe her sound, she eloquently responded: gay. “I’m a club girl, I’ve always been a club girl. For queer people, trans girls, nightlife was where we could just be.”
Nightlife offers a release from life’s harsh realities. And, a year into the pandemic, I’m sure we all could do with a little bit of release. Not much of our predicament has changed in a year: we’re still facing restrictions, dealing with racial inequality, and waiting on proper relief from our elected officials. While COVID has upended lives throughout the country – throughout the world, it has taken a grave toll on the trans community, a community that has long suffered from poor medical care and higher rates of mental illness due to discrimination.
Photograph by Ariana Sanchez
As a mother, Zaida has kept her house open during COVID. Though frightening because of the associated risks, she emphasizes the importance of the queer community. More times than not, these kids don’t have any other place to go. They look to the older queens for guidance and support. “I have a few trans children out here who hit me up, asking for advice. My trans kids know they can come to me. It’s scary having people coming and going [during COVID], but sometimes it has to happen. I’m just a tranny in the South trying to make due.”
We discuss her journey to self-identity, how that journey translates to her music, what obstacles she’s faced navigating the EDM scene as an openly trans woman of color, and more.
This might be a simple question, but I think for many reasons, especially with the recent shootings in Atlanta, it’s important. How are you, really?
I hate when people ask me that. I'm really stressed out – I don’t know, that's all I got. That question, it hits you in the gut. I promise you, especially right now, I know I'm not the only person feeling like everything's really dark and gloomy. I'm writing music, which is good, but there's just a dark cloud over everything. And it's not necessarily me being depressed because I'm medicated, but it’s just that I have to be emotionally intelligent, 100% of the time, 100% of the day. It comes easily to me but to some people, it doesn't, and that's what I'm contending with: dealing with people who lack empathy versus people who have it.
Photograph by Ariana Sanchez
Can you talk a little bit about your journey to self-identity?
My journey has been defined by how much work I'm willing to do, how much risk am I willing to take. I feel like I'm always changing, like constantly. My identity feels like it is always shifting and I'm okay with that. When I was younger, I was allowed to express myself at home, you know, my mom was chill. But after she passed when I was nine and I met my dad I wasn’t allowed to be myself. It was a problem for the schools I attended for sure because I grew up in the deep south, in Boyce, Louisiana, in the country next to the Red River, and I wasn’t really granted the space to present the way I wanted to. But I could never hide it, it was always there. I feel like if you're trans you’re always going to look like you're trans, so I've always dealt with it you know. I didn't transition until I was 24. To me, that's not really early, but it's not really late either. And it's just so crazy to me because it was always there but it wasn’t until I was like ‘I have a chance to get my life together, I’m going to get my life together’ and decided to do it that it all got better. I'm telling you it's literally been the best decision for me. I started working harder to support myself, and I was just going at life a lot harder and trying to make more things happen for myself, not necessarily knowing which direction I was going in.
How does this journey translate to your music?
When I first got into music the people that I was doing it with were these straight white boys that lived in my hometown or whatever and I definitely was more feminine. Some of them were secretly like your music’s really good, but they wouldn’t fuck with me. I remember just picking up this DAW, and it was a really early one called Orion – like no one even uses it, every time I bring it up no one knows what the fuck I'm talking about but I promise it’s a real program – I just started to write and make music. I’ve written some bangers, but I think because of me being more feminine people would just neg the shit out of my work. That wouldn’t have bothered me if I knew what I made sucked, but at the time I knew I didn’t suck. And honestly, not to be that girl that's always talking about the checkbook, but music is an investment. I didn't have the fucking coin to do it before, but now I’m in transition and I have a decent job – like, why not invest in myself and do something that I've always wanted to do, but was never sure that I could do? So, that's what motivates me to make it. But if you’re asking me what is my music saying: honestly, that I don't even fucking know yet. I guess I'm always looking for the euphoria. I'm always looking for that feeling of happiness and energy.
As an openly trans femme DJ of color, what difficulties do you face navigating the EDM scene? How can people support you?
I'm 30 years old, I'm just coming into production. I'm a professional in my regular everyday life, but in this field I'm basically a baby. At the same time, I'm doing something; I'm exciting the people in my immediate community at least, and I don't really know where I can go with that. That worries me sometimes because it’s limiting, but I do feel like I'm carving out a space of my own and I feel like we are at a time where girls like me are more available. I’m a club girl, I’ve always been a club girl. For queer people, trans girls, nightlife was where we could just be. That’s why music means a lot to me. There are a lot of trans people in electronic music, and that’s one of the reasons that I’m drawn to it. I feel welcomed for the most part, but at the same time there are a lot of dudes in the scene that’ll say shit like ‘you’re black and trans, you know if you drop this people will definitely cop.’ Hearing stuff like that makes me wonder sometimes: am I really contributing something? I hate that that’s what I’m feeling instead of being in my bag and writing shit. But I do an ok job at putting myself out there, and no one’s ever going to stop me from being Zaida. I'm learning really really fast because I'm learning from industry professionals, and so I know that there's a lane that I can occupy, but right now the biggest obstacle I face is just making a fire debut. This music shit is gonna be a marathon, so [if you want to support me] you can just watch and follow and listen to my music.
What is your goal as a DJ + producer?
To make classics. To give back. To endure. To give the kids something to dance to because at one point in time every fucking faggot is gonna be in a fucking nightclub running away from some shit.
Fav artists? Who are you listening to right now?
I listen to throwbacks all the fucking time. I’m an R&B head for sure, I love playing Chloe x Halle. I think they’re amazing, they’re just pure talent. Women are having a big ass moment in music right now and that is the most sickening thing to me. People are realizing women be out here, turning it in in the fucking producer booth.
What would you say to the queer kids who are coming into their own and thinking about mixing or producing?
Learn from everyone, ask everybody questions, and find a few people in your life that you respect musically, artistically. And even if they're assholes about it let them do that because I'm going to let you in on a secret: I'm learning how to produce from people who spent 10 years plus perfecting their sauce, you know? I'm learning from them; that's how they're giving back to me, a trans woman, by gifting me the knowledge that they've spent 10 years cultivating to help me get into an industry standard producer. So just find your people who support you, having a crew is imperative. Music is collaborative. If you are queer, you need to reach out to people who are just like you, and it's not gonna be that hard because dance music has a bunch of us. There's room for everybody.
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Interview by Rahel Tekle